ending one. starting a new.

2008...what can I say? you've treated me so harsh this year.
So many things happened, and so many things didn't happen. I think I've experienced so many emotions in one year than I had ever experienced in my whole life. A lot has happened and so many things have changed, it's hard to say that things will be okay, because sometimes I don't know if it will be in the end. So Here's the Breakdown:

Family: I love them unconditionally. No matter how irritating or annoying they may seem to get, at the end of the day I am unbelievably grateful for them. They've been there for me through everything and anything. Even if I don't want them to be there for me, they still end up being there. Thanks for pushing me to succeed, to want to be better, and to want to make you proud.

Friends: My friends have been there since day one in this chapter of my life. Whether we have seemed to drift apart, it is somewhat easy to say, we can still be best friends again in the end. Friendships aren't ever perfect. There will be the times when issues arise but you just gotta pull through and remember the good and the bad, because in the ends its what makes friendships stronger. My best friends are amazing in every way possible. It is the memories that I make with them that will last me a lifetime.

Fraternity: Alpha Phi Omega. Mu Class. Alpha Family. You have made me a better person in more ways than one. On top of all that you've given me the chance to add new additions of wonderful people into my life. People who I can't even imagine what I would do without them. I love the friendships I've made, the people I can learn to trust, and the stronger person I have become because of all this. To my Sexy Fatass Rockstars, you guys have grown to be a really big part of my life. Food alone cannot make me happy but with food and the company of you guys makes it a whole lot better :)

Luna Marie: You made me soo mad last night by peeing on my bed, and pooping in the room. I was only gone for a few minutes and i had to come back to that? oh babygirl. I am upset. but I still do love you. Even though I know you can't read this, just make sure to not do that again, and that even if you piss me off, I'll love you forever.

My Heart: You have been through it all. The pain, happiness, sorrow, etc. but I guess I don't regret it one bit. It was those times that really helped me realize a lot, better late than never right? and so here you are now so weak yet so strong but still willing to love again eventually. "Sometimes the memories are worth the pain"

As for now, I am not as happy as I would like to be. but things will change, if not now then later. just as long as "eventually" will eventually happen. For 2009, you better be a DAMN good year because from this past one, I think I deserve a break.

escapade

14-day trial on my camera.
Today I bought a case and everything for it. but as I was examining and cleaning it. I found there to be little specs of dust behind the glass of the screen. Its not that noticeable to anyone else. but it bugs the crap outta me. So I made the decision to return it and exchange for the same one or in black. If none are available then. getting back my money is the next best thing. Either way I win something. So I'm not too bummed about it.

I had a good day today. Being with my favorite boys is always fun. and getting to see Missy was a bonus too. Winter vacation is going well. Work is efficient. Family is hilarious. and Friends are the Best.

I don't ask for much. I don't need much. I just want simplicity and to be happy. Real Happiness isn't always easy to acquire but when reached it better be damn worth it.

Lights. Camera. Action.

Say hi to my new baby :)
(Thanks to Tony for giving me a good deal at Best Buy)
Now Its time to take some pictures today!

you change your mind, like a girl changes clothes.

...that's from Katy Perry's song Hot'n Cold. I like that line only because it makes me laugh :P
Yesterday I pretty much just drove to Huntington to get my Falken FK452 tires, drove home, went to target, then back home again. Even though I sat around, under blankets pretty much the whole day it doesn't seem like I wasted time. I guess after working so much in a week makes me just want to be lazy. I forgot how good naps were when you are exhausted. As for today I have an on-call shift at 2pm, and I'm pretty sure they are going to make me work. BOO :( sad face. Although tomorrow I'm off :) and Tuesday is a possibility to go snowboarding. My week sounds pretty intense but fun at the same time!

stubborn

I am unbelievably shocked at how bad things happen to people.
To sum it all up. I was driving down the freeway and my tire popped.
If it wasn't for my sister and her boyfriend I don't know what I would have done.
I mean I would have done it myself. but with it being 1-something in the morning it wasn't an option.
I hate being a burden on people. :( so to Tine and Kris thank you guys so much!

its too damn cold to do anything.

day after christmas

gotta get ready for another day of work. I'm glad I am off tomorrow.

Merry Christmas

It was quite relaxing I must say.
The current filipino drama I started watching is called My Only Hope. its pretty good.
Thing is I'm starting to hate watching all these because it makes me happy but sad at the same time. Why do I always do this to myself. It's Christmas, I should be happy. but I am happy overall with family and my close friends. its just the part of feeling as if I was let down is what hurts me. but once again I should be used to all this by now. its the only way I'll learn to cope on my own. I love my family. even though I get annoyed easily by them. I still love them nonetheless.

Merry Christmas Eve

I finished watching all 75 Episodes of My Girl. I love happy endings :) Working on Christmas Eve was hectic. 7th day of work in a row. now its time for some rest. I've opened all my presents, and I love them all. One more :P I'm excited.

I love this picture of my sisters and I, because makes me happy. I can't wait til New Years :)

winter cleaning

I'm taking the time to do some cleaning before Christmas.
I feel better than yesterday :)
My sister comes home tonight.
Work tomorrow.
I'm excited for the week.

I've been...

too busy to blog :(
i miss it.

SICK

8-hour shift yesterday
5-hour shift today.
SICK
and
TIRED.

im really...

not in the mood to work today.
but my 8-hr shift is calling my name :P
I'll survive it haha.

I'm just going to miss my friends this winter break. Work has seemed to take over my social life. Today I woke up early to take my mom somewhere. and she mentioned something about how she's going with my relatives to Knotts Berry Farm, and that I should call in sick. but I know it's the wrong thing to do. but it really made me feel like I wanted to spend time with my family. off to get ready for work. the freaking filipino drama I've been watching is just getting better and better. Now I'm on Episode 43 already :) can't wait to continue watching it.

...I'm slowly learning.

sometimes

you do more than what is expected for those you care about most.

Winter 2008

I'm glad to say finals are over :) but I'm dreading the work schedule.
I work almost everyday starting this week into next week.

I hope things get better.

Finals

...has gotten the best of me.
It has taken over everything these past two weeks.
My thoughts. My Ideas. My time.
but I am almost done :)

Two down. One more to go.

My Girl

This filipino soap opera make me happy. Gerald Anderson is really cute :P
I am on episode 6 of about 75. So I've got a long way to go. but so far so good.

One final down two more to go.
Wednesday: Women Studies.
Thursday: Sociology.

surprised yet confused at the same time...

pouring rain.

I loved rain!
I spent a good 10-11hrs straight working on my research paper. and I am just about done with it. I am pooped!

I sure hope it rains tomorrow :)
English Final 2:45pm
Research Paper Due.

eighty-seven

is how old my grandma turned today. She seemed happy being surrounded by her children and family.
work felt like a whole day went by when only an hour passed. Finals are this week and I am very unprepared.
Tomorrow however is doomsday. but hopefully productive. I will be working on my paper all day. so wish me luck.
Good luck to all those who are taking the last of their finals! kick butt :P

stawberry water.

my friends weren't lying when they said this stuff was good. so now go to your nearest Starbucks and order "Strawberry Water" if you're feeling like an ice tea try it like this "black tea, no classic, sub strawberry" that's delicious too!

<-though it looks nothing like the picture to the left, I personally thought this picture looked pretty cool :)

Today was fun. I felt a little accomplished than yesterday. I went to the CSULB library and found a few books that would help me with my research paper. I like the self check-out, it's pretty clever makes me want to borrow books more often haha.

Dinner at Thai bbq was fun. Everyone was starving, and we all left with enormous bellies filled with food. Then they all went to a high school friends' birthday party. While I decided to go home and rest. Winter break is almost here, I can't wait for snowboarding season!!
Sunday Funday:
church. study. research paper. work 5pm-10pm.

stupid cupid.

Work is giving me 28-hrs next week, on top of that it's during finals week? oh my.

Girls are retarded, I must admit, I am retarded in the heart in every way possible. However I respect the situation. with great admiration. keep in mind it's more than just a crush. I have the will to wait. and if things aren't happily ever after in the end. I can look back and remember, I'm a survivor :) in the mean time sit back, relax, and enjoy the company.

time to watch my lovey-dovey filipino movies, and some home cooked food.

tomorrow:
free for anything
but should be studying :P
work 5pm-10pm

haircut picture. before & after...what do you think?

nahnahnah

Work has overwhelmed me.
Dinner with joey is always fun.
Cold nights make me happy.

sometimes things happen, that you can't control. so can't point the blame.

Love Actually...

is all around.
I love that movie. Its one of those movies you can watch over again. well for me at least :)

by the way I got a drastic haircut today. Along the lines of Victoria Beckham and Rhianna. I don't have any pictures right now but I will be sure to post some up soon.
back to watching the movie.

P.S. This movie gives me butterflies in my stomach :P

oh my...

I couldn't help but blog about how sexy this car is. The Lexus IS-F Five Axis. The body kit is amazing. The exhausts' shape is different than most cars. The interior has sculpted front and rear seats. Black Matte paint job with bronze rims.
I am completely in love with this car.
One day, someday soon. I will own you :)

I love days off. I love spending time with AphiO bros. I love my line. and I love the cold weather.

Tomorrow is another day off :)
homework is a party pooper.

Random thoughts:
_One day if I were to get a motorcycle, I would love for my helmet to be shaped like the Blue Power Ranger's head. 1.because I love the color. 2. because its hardcore looking. but then again I am sure my mother would disown me if I were to drive a motorcycle.
_I received more signs today about the Navy. creeps me out just a little. but excites me at the same time.
_I love listening to music from back in the day. Reminds me of how good music used to be.
_The weather is starting to bring in the holiday feeling. Taking out the gloves, scarves, and beanies soon. Warm tea, fuzzy blankets and christmas shopping! I'm excited.
_"it's complicated" sure has been the number one phrase of the week.

work was...

interesting/creepy today. I finally got to work with one of my favorite co-workers, seeing that we both think management was trying to keep us apart haha. I think laughing during work makes it soo much better. a 6pm-11pm shift didn't seem half as bad as I thought it would have been.

You work hard for the things you want.
If the things you want take time.
You learn to be patient.

Shout Out:
Allan, I want to thank you for today. I really appreciated everything.

get back.

...up on your own two feet.

"you can't play the game if you don't know all the rules."
Wise words of a friend. In all situations this quote may pertain to it.
you can't really go about assuming things because you don't know the whole story
that is my problem.

Congratulations!

i LOVE my LIL!!












Overall it was a crazy night :) but I loved every moment of it. Congratulations to the most wonderful LIL ever!

<3>

ahem.

unfortunately I woke up late and missed school :\
so I decided to drop my grandma off in West Hollywood.
came home just now. and I am about to go to Cerritos mall to get my check.
then when I get home I will be getting ready for the festivities :)
tonight is going to be crazy.

unsettled...

...emotions.

Today I...
woke up late so missed my 8am class :\
dropped my grandma off.
home.
Vinita's: eyebrows threaded.
pick up lunch.
surprise drop-off.
school.
ate food.
napped.
class 3:30-4:45
work: get schedule.
mall w/ big and her friends.
Dinner: Bjs Restaurant.
home.

scandelous.

I just finished watching Gossip Girls and Privileged since I wasn't able to watch it on Monday night...

_Gossip Girls: Amazing episode. It had so many stories but in the end it all came together. I really like the relationship between Serena and Dan because although they had broken up they still show signs that they are still in love with each other. Vanessa annoys me as a character because she always acts so helpless and she doesn't seem to belong anywhere but yet finds her way of creeping into the upper east side.

_Privileged: The ending when Will surprises Megan with bringing her all the things she favored most when she was living in New York to compensate for the fact that he was afraid to be in a relationship with her. He explained himself as since he's never been able to be in a real relationship he wasn't used to thinking about other people but himself, so he decides that he wants to make an effort with her. But his apology was beyond cute. He flew in her favorite sandwiches from New York, roasted chestnuts, and a huge Christmas tree imitating the one from her past times. This episode was surely a heart-melt-er.

Ramblings:
So many thoughts are running through my head and I don't know what to think. I keep getting that same feeling I've felt once before. I'm slowly giving up. Tell me otherwise. Is it right for me to keep holding on if it feels like it's going nowhere? School has me on the tip of my toes. Winter is coming. Weather is beautiful. Work schedule is getting really hectic. Income is getting better. Credit is getting worse. Navy Reserves is still on my mind. Tomorrow is another damn day.

P.S. Luna marie (my dog) is dreaming in her sleep right now, and its kind of creeping me out. hahahahahaha

strange as it seems..

there's a run of crazy dreams :)
I just finished my sociology essay.
I had some caffeine.
and some thoughts in my head
caffeine + thoughts = can't sleep.

if it wasn't so cold, and if Carson wasn't so ghetto, I would go for a run :P
The weather is going to be perfect today! I feel like today is going to be a good day, I hope so.
what an exciting/busy/stressful week!

School: Class. Random. Class. Meeting.


I think these elephant earrings are adorable
that's it. now off to start a new day.
wish me luck :)

essays

...bring out the worst in me :( and yet I'm still going to try.
Sociology 4-5 pages
English 8-10 pages.

Outburst:
I am upset. I hate how my mom thinks my decision of wanting to go to the Navy Reserves is just me running away from something... in her words, a boy or because of school. She tells me "You're lazy, you never reach for something higher, you just settle for less". And this is when everything comes together, I am not doing this with the intention of wanting to please my parents, this is for ME. With whatever decision I choose, it'll be because I know what's best for myself. I could have signed up days ago, but instead I chose to wait to get the approval from my parents, family, and friends. Now I don't need all that, I just need to be sure with myself because in the end it is my future. I am not stupid. I am not crazy. I am DETERMINED.

one word: FAT

but delicious :)
It has been almost over a year til today since I have last eaten chicken nuggets from what I remember. That or it just felt like forever. Eating McDonalds gives me that feeling of being a child again, maybe because it was a favorite past time with my family. I still get excited to see the new toys of Happy Meals. Although this is quite deadly, it makes me happy :).
Working 3-days in a row was very tiring, but I feel very accomplished. My managers seem to love me. Oooh and I bought clothes from MetroPark today and I'm happy because I spent as much as how much 1 dress would usually cost, when I left the store with 3 dresses and 1 scarf.

I would also like to introduce my new co-pilot(for my car rides)
He's a labbit with a mustache.
Work sells the weirdest stuff, and this by far is the weirdest thing I've bought from work. But it makes me laugh...
because it shows the butthole.

Au Revior.

Role Model

is a funny movie :)
To the right is the dress I bought during the Black Friday madness. It doesn't look as nice as it did when it's actually tried on. The only downside of this dress is that it was tight around the bust area :P not that I am gifted around that area, but maybe it was made for girls smaller than me. I like the look of the dress, when I tried it on it had a 1920s look to it. I'm planning to accessorize with white pumps and a white flower for my hair. Maybe some red lipstick to make everything just pop.










These are a few pictures of how I would imagine it would look like. I will however take pictures of my outfit when it all comes together. Voila!

Work was fun today. Registers all day. Tomorrow is another day!

Black Friday 2008

was pretty interesting.
Before I talk about how today went I want to recap yesterdays holiday festivities. It consisted of preparing, cooking, eating, resting, eating some more. fun. eating. etc. Playing Rockband with my sister and cousin, must have been the highlight of my day, and on top of that, my baby cousin laughing and smiling often. After all of that was over we left my aunt's house and came home. I was deciding where and when I should start shopping...
I made the decision to go at 4am. and so I did. Places were open and people were lined up outside of the places that weren't open just yet. I, however, found something worth buying. It ended up being a simple black dress that has a little "umph" to it and some jewelry (bling bling) to go along with it. After purchasing that dress I left the mall and slept in my car for about 2hrs until I had to go to work. I have to admit I loved how busy the store was. I worked an 8hr shift and it didn't even feel like it. The best part of my day would probably have been dinner with my high school friends. It's nice to know that no matter how busy our lives may be, we all still have our friendship to keep us together. goodnight.

Happy Thanksgiving 2008

I can't believe how quick the year has gone by and how so many struggles have brought me to where I am today.
As the year is coming to an end I'm going to take my time to contemplate on how I want to live the upcoming year. A lot is going to surely change but as for now, I can't complain about life, because in the end I should be thankful for what I have. In the spirit of Thanksgiving I would like to make my list: I am thankful for...Family, Friends, relatives, doggie, fraternity, education, music, nature, and a whole bunch of other things.

As long as the people around me are happy I will try my best to be happy as well. Too much thinking hurts my head and my heart, I'm going to take a break from all that. and just EAT til I explode.
next stop...Christmas season :)

bonding

...with my lil and big, are one of my favorite moments in life.

Today:
woke up.
errands.
dropped grandma off.
lunch with joey.
mall.
dropped him off.
allan's house.
picked up lil.
surprised big.
guppies.
tim's house.
drop off lil.
drove home behind a sexy ISF :)

tiiirrreeed.
Happy Thanksgiving in a few.

don't be in a rush...

to grow up. but it's okay to want to grow up the right way.
I need that motivation, discipline, and rush of adrenaline to want to become better. To fix the mistakes I've made and to clean up the mess I've started. Doing this for others but most of all doing this to better myself.

I love the rain. The sound, smell, and feel of it. Walking in the rain under an umbrella, makes me feel happy.
Today I..
dropped my car off at the dealership.
biggie picked me up.
went to school.
waited around.
lunch with biggie, lil, dia, and john.
ben&jerry's
took daddy to the airport.
dinner with joey-bear.
drive home.
target.

When you put your whole heart into something, try your best not to expect too much, just do it because you feel you can make a difference in someones life. I'm happy to have what I've been given.

its at the end of the day...

when my thoughts overcome me the most.
and its you I'm thinking of.

I'm still hurting, fearing, and doubting myself. Emotionally, I don't think I am strong enough to leave.

2,050 miles

away from home...
I am such a cry baby.
That's what I pretty much did all day, cry my eyes out. I asked myself, "why the f!@k am I crying?" and my friend says to me,"You're crying because you know how hard it's going to be for you, and how you have to eventually let go." which is true. I don't want to have to leave my life behind. and I know I may be getting ahead of myself because I haven't actually gone about doing something about this. but It already feels as if I'm leaving in a few weeks. its not %100 but sure damn close to %75. Its a gigantic step outside of my glass box, but it's a leap of faith that I'll have to take in order to actually grow up.

I am afraid beyond belief. I'm probably going to be crying for the next few weeks.
I cry now when I haven't done anything but discuss it with family and friends, Imagine when I actually go through with it. :(

its ok to be afraid

to want to be different. to want something unordinary. to become unordinary. to help our country. to help myself. to hope for the better. to think about myself. to think of it in the long run. for my future. to change. to allow change. to hurt. to cry. to want to do something about it. to believe. to achieve. to want this more than anything else.

I fear if I make this choice I will come back to nothing. But I'm wrong. In the end I WILL have everything hoped for and more.

I'm sorry if the decision seems irrational. but I CAN do this. I know I CAN.
I need the support. That's all I am asking for.

Sleep. Church. Contemplating time. Work 4-8pm.

I am thankful for my life.

realize realization

its been on my mind.
I know that I will be ok...its ok to leave and step out into another world outside of my comfort zone.

Today:
volunteer: assisted people with disabilities who enjoy the exciting sport of rowing.
park day with UCI-Rho Rho Chapter.
nap.
dinner with friends.
talk with the best friend.

Now I am going to take the time to think about everything else.
I CAN DO THIS!

navy reserve

has been on my mind for the longest time. Am I going to do something about it?
I have the feeling of fear but excitement at the thought.

school. lunch. home. alpha family project. Alpha Phi Omega Thanksgiving dinner. parking lot. 7-eleven. home.

Today seemed like it took forever to end. and its not even over yet. The dinner tonight was exactly like Thanksgiving but a week ahead. There was turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, corn bread, mac-n-cheese, and pumpkin pie. I AM STUFFED.

Tomorrow Service, Hangout with Friendsies.
My mind is sooo upset right now.

draaaggg...

work was unbearably boring. there weren't much customers and I had to put away shipment so it wasn't one of those fun days. although ken and stella came by for a visit, and bought something.
This morning for some reason I set my alarm to the wrong time and I woke up late and missed my first class :( I napped in my car when I got to school. and had lunch at Kabuki. yummy for some yellow tail and Philadelphia roll. sushi is just too good. I wonder who specifically decided to cut up a fish and wrap it in seaweed and rice, because they are definitely a genius.
goodnight.

rocker

So an hour or so ago, my sister and I were talking and she mentioned how I go for a rocker look in my style. And defensively I replied "No I don't". Well a few minutes after once we ended the conversation I was looking through the new issue of Seventeen magazine I came across a page with shoes and the image to the left of this blog caught my eye. It so happens that it was specifically categorized under the style "rocker".
On top of all that, aren't these shoes cute? they have that zipper detail that makes it either casual or formal. The heel is a bit too high for me though, but maybe if I try them on I'd fall in love some more. But because financially I should be saving up, I will have to refrain from purchasing them.
So today was very productive. I went to class watched an Underwater birth video, and I can honestly say from watching that, one day I would probably want to go through that procedure rather than a hospital setting and medications. Natural birth that way seemed to form a different connection between the mother and child along with the husband as well. After class I came back to the union and said hello to my fellow AphiO Bros. Took the extra free time out of my day to go to the Horn Center and start on some early homework and readings. Time passed, and soon headed for home. I was able to watch past episodes of Gossip Girls and One Tree Hill that I missed this past monday. They were amazing! now I have to wait 2 weeks for another new episode. I knocked out for a bit. woke up and ate like crazy. In the meantime I'm probably going to eat some more when my sister comes home from work. I sure hope this is PMS-eating.
Wow where to begin, so much drama is yet to come my way...school, fraternity issues, busy work schedule, etc. I'm starting to lose hope in myself, in current situations, and in life itself. I don't want to be in that apathetic state again. So I am trying, maybe I just need to try harder. but sometimes I can't help but think...
Why isn't my best ever good enough?

contemplative

You can never find a sense of who you really are, only until the point of almost losing yourself. I have myself to blame to feel the way I feel. Pessimism has taken over a few of my thoughts. It is my own fault and mistakes that lead me to this state of mind. but have you ever had the feeling as if the world is falling down upon your shoulders and there you are left all alone to carry it up on your own? whether or not others are there to support you and offer the help that you may need, you still choose to take such a heavy load and would prefer to handle it all by yourself. even if it means nothing will ever be the same. I've failed others, and most of all myself. It seems as if I'm falling down the drain into a sea of endless possibilities and struggles. I don't want to end up living the life I would never see myself doing. I want to be different. I want change. Never in my life have I ever wanted change, especially when I felt as if life was perfect with the way things had been going, but just recently I thought, maybe change is necessary to move on.

I pray for the worst to become better. I pray for the well-being of others around me. I pray for genuine happiness.

Today is going to be another loooonnggg day going into night.
School. homework: work on essay, women studies notes. Alpha Phi Omega meeting @ 6:30pm.

after my day:
Im home tired and hungry. I hate being happy one moment then not so happy the next. Why does bad things always happen to good people? There are those who work so hard putting time and effort into something, and it all of a sudden backfires. FFF*****KKKK my life right now. hope for the best

yummm.

we came up with the conclusion that Bj's Restaurant has one of the best lunch menu options.

Today was very chill. Even though my teacher didnt show up to class which ended up being a waste of gas, time, etc. After I spent some time at the union with AphiO people. then went to lunch with loverboy. funny encounter today, I couldn't help but laugh. Lunch was delicious. Went over to J's house and I attempted to fix his wireless but I failed so I took it home so that I could focus more attention on it. watched one of my favorite food shows where the guys eats weird stuff from different parts of the world...and then some. Finally, I went home napped til about 7pm figured out what I wanted my research paper topic to be on. and the best part of my day was fixing the laptop. Like for some odd reason I couldn't stop smiling once I saw 'wireless connection: connected' Damn proud of myself :) Today could have been a bad day, depending on what way I look at it. But having a talk with one of my best friends really changed my perspective. It could have been bad but if I don't allow the pessimism then..overall it was good. verrrrryyy good ;P

However, tomorrow is going to be a very busy day/night.
Cross my fingers and hope everything turns out okay.

By the way I love Justin Timberlake.
YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS..IT'S A MUST.

unbelievably fascinating

to work with so many people that I enjoy being around with.
So today I worked a 12pm-5pm shift then back for a meeting 8pm-11pm.
It was one of those days that reminds me why I love working at MetroPark so much.
The managers actually care. The co-workers are pretty much my friends rather than co-workers.

Okay so for my 3hour break. I went to dinner at Thai Bbq with Mr. Joey. Its nice to spend time and relax after work over some good food. Laughter was definitely my favorite part. After dinner he left, and so I decided to get my eyebrows done, and might i include they are looking pretty fresh :P. So then I napped in my car for about an hour or so. and headed over to work. Hungout with the Old school, then met the newbies (because excited to say, I am no longer a newbie). Meeting was a blast.

Now I am home, procrastinating/dreading to do homework. and is about to watch a few episodes of shows I missed this past week. To share a few thoughts on my mind, I was glad to be awaken from my sleep at about 2:30am-ish and have to hear those few words, quite comforting really. Today I am okay, quite happy I must admit. But tomorrow is another day we'll see how things go. :) x five <3

Tomorrow brings: School. Homework. Chill. Birthday Dinner(?).
til then...
A tout a l'heure
(I might rekindle my interent in French next semester. exciting?)

sit back. kick back.

Sitting home all day was pretty relaxing I must say.

tomorrow I'm not looking forward to the day...
work yes...but the day itself...dreading it.

my oh my...what has life gotten me into?

fast paced.

work was fun today.
The other day I did women and today I ended up doing the men section. On top of that I had to juggle cash registers, etc.

Today I...
went to school.
interview with Cleofaye.
nap.
pick up laptop from Kentaro.
Lunch. dim sum from Ten Ten.
hangout. watch ratatouille. nap some more.
Albertsons.
Work 6pm-10pm.
Home.
bake cupcakes.

My day seemed productive, contemplative, and hopeful.

i'm lost.

in my thoughts.
I keep wondering what is it that I can do...I'm still so scared of a million reasons. I need that comforting reassurance. or else I tend to lose all hope.

I found out something. why does things like this happen to me? Its always unexpected. but it made me think a lot. because it's possible...eventually...but comes with a lot of extra baggage. I'm stuck.

Work was fun today :) I updated 2 walls in the woman's section. meaning I got to visually arrange things. which was a lot of fun for me. Tomorrow work shouldn't be too bad.
This coming weekend is going to be crraaazzzyy though. work, aphio events, bball games, anything else?

I'm much more smarter than people think :P
GOODNIGHT WORLD.

back on track

Lately, I've been having good days, because I'm allowing myself to.
Today was fun.
School.
Pick up DVD.
Grocery shopping with grandma.
Nap.
Work didn't need me today.
Watched the Men in my life play bball.
Tennis w/ Friends.
Dinner w/ Joey.
as for now...it's homework time.
Tomorrow is going to be a long day :\ but I'll manage.
school. work 6-9:30pm. IC event(maybe)

Things will get better...one step at a time.

The best thing about me is you.

I hate thinking...makes me sad.

I had a decent day today. Lots of rest was involved :] I love the cold weather and hiding under warm blankets.
Unfortunately for the next few days its going to be hot! I am not looking forward to it.

ok no more procrastinating, back to doing homework.

sunflower and tulips

All I've got to say is...
I had the most AMAZING birthday weekend, and I cannot express how happy I am to know I have such great friends in my life. the end of a great weekend.

"It's perfectly okay to admit that a commitment is not right for you and to reject it outright. This is your life, your passionate future. What's not okay is to hold back and put less than everything into a commitment that is your passion. If you want something, go for it all the way and go for it now. When you do, you'll wake up every day to a life you love."

Take a second, look within your own life, and relate this toward either school, career choice, relationships, friendships, etc.
Makes you wonder.

i have...

the most amazing friends EVER.

Last night, they kidnapped me. blindfolded me. surprised me to go see WICKED.
I am still shocked til this very moment, and I cannot express how thankful I really am.
I loved it entirely and it is the best surprise I've ever gotten in my whole 19 years of living :)
Thank you...Clarice, Allan, Heather, Queenie, Jason, and Roland.
I love you all. Never would I have thought I could have best friends like you guys.

Today was pretty tiring but fun at the same time. Pledges did a good job hosting their fellowship. Football was funny :) tonight is another night!!!

antsy

tonight my friends are planning to surprise me with something...
I have no idea what's in store but I trust them :P

time to get ready.
for a nightly adventure!!

happy birthday to me!

highlights:
_Clarice, Allan, Biggie, Jean and Dari arriving at my house at 12am to greet me happy birthday and attack me with silly string :)
_Having my sisters' 6th grade students all greet me a Happy Birthday over the phone from New York.
_Hanging out with Biggie and my Lil...eating carne asada fries and nachos, taking pictures at CUE.
_Dinner with my favorites.


expected too much. but its okay :) I had a good birthday.

green.

wear green today :) why? haha just because.

This morning I woke up feeling super lazy. but I had to get up for class at 8am.
So I got dressed, made myself a hot cup of island mango & peach tea. but as I was driving to school I burnt my tongue :( even though it hurt. it was surely delicious :P

Overall my day felt super accomplished. I DONATED BLOOD for the first time today. and I was super scared but I went through it and I felt really good about helping someone out wherever they needed it. On top of that I volunteered for 3 hours at the blood drive. and to see soooo many people willing to donate made me quite happy.

Tomorrow is my birthday :)

advice.

...just take it one day at a time.

It's all I could do. can do. will do...

...to make it seem everything will be alright.

"I think that the loss of someone, whether this person dies or just goes away is always a transition to a new part of your life. Feeling this pain is absolutely necessary although you think that the pain will never go away and that it is so unfair that you have to suffer. It was already clear that you would lose this person before you even met them. We are always alone on this world, the people we meet just stay in our life for a certain time. Their task is it to support us or to show us something, to lead us somewhere etc. But one day they will leave us. So we have to take care of ourselves and try not to lose ourselves in another person because it is inevitable that this other person will go away, and when we give up ourselves we are finally lost. So I think the best way to come to terms with a loss is to remember the good moments with this person and to take care of our dreams and ourselves."

...statement is well said. In addition, I believe that not all people are going to leave you depending on certain situations and if they were to leave you it'd probably be because of death.

I am sooo unbelievably freakin' afraid...I can't even sleep or eat properly.
I wish i could just hide from the whole world simply by covering myself in my blankets.


I VOTED for the 2008 Presidential Election

today was better than yesterday...

I seemed to be happy today :P with a few issues here and there, but I managed to live through it. Last night/ this morning I didn't get any sleep because I was studying for my midterm for my women studies class. But for some odd reason I was unbelievably hyper and crazy this morning. I couldn't sit still and I was talking really fast. I even got to school at about 6:50am and just sat in my car like a crazy person. Then when Clarice came to school we went over to the Student Union to study some more. Soon enough I had to take my midterm at 10am. Safe to say I think I did alright on it. After class I thought to myself because my birthday is coming up I decided to spend some money on myself for some new clothing. I'm generally tired of Cerritos Mall and so Joey and I went to South Coast Plaza in Costa Mesa, which by the way doesn't have a Forever 21 (can you believe that?). Instead of staying there we left and headed over to Irvine Spectrum. Shopped at H&M, Forever 21, and Urban Outfitters. To Top all of that off, we finished off the little shopping trip with some funnel cake with powdered sugar, fresh strawberries, and some whip cream on top. Needless to say but, spending time with him makes me happy.

As for now, I will be writing my essay for english class about a novel I had read a few weeks ago. I'm missing my favorite shows, Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill tonight only because I need to focus. Plus the wonderful world of technology allows me to just catch up on it online :)

Tomorrow is Election Day. I wonder how it's going to go. Who's going to win? and if everything is going to turn out alright.

I have a few unanswered questions I wanna get off my mind...

unsatisfied.

with myself and a whole bunch of other things.

Work although was quite interesting today. I worked friday, saturday, and sunday. I am quite proud of myself especially knowing that means a big check is going to come my way.

Please disregard my last post. I think I'm going crazy. But who isn't crazy these days...
I do however hate the position I'm in. I'm happy enough to the point that I should be thankful for what I am able to receive. But the selfish part of me is hurting.
I hate this restraint, of wanting to do certain things, but isn't able to...makes me sad all over again.
tell me how to feel. I want to know if you're happy or if there is something that I might accidentally do that may make everything fall apart. I hate having questions with no answers.

Seeing Sampaguita friends last night was out of the blue. It was my attempt to step out of my comfort zone and it was too awkward at first. I do however miss dancing, made me want to do it all over again, but I'm already in too many other activities.

I'm going to be up all tonight!
studying? about women lol.

% days til my bday...

epic story

to end october and fun way to start november. 6 more days til my birthday!

<-my luna marie :) Lsst night it ended up that I became care taker for the night before I left the party, but I'm not complaining beceause I'd definitely choose to sit with my friends holding their hair back as they puke their brains out, rather than go home anyday. Despite all the fun, throughout the night I couldn't help but feel somewhat alone still. And I realized I talk too much sometimes haha. I'm waiting wishing and wondering for things to be okay. It takes a lot to make a person realize how much the other makes them happy. How do you know? Usually when you're with someone you tend to do better in life whether it be through school, work, even at home. Yet when you feel like you've lost that sense of wanting to better in your life thats when you know they make your life that much better because you want to be a more better person. People may think that usually your first love is the one person in your life who sets the standards for the chance of ever loving again. The way I see it is, first loves were only the beginning in the search of someone much better. I look back and think of how stupid and naive I was to believe that this is it not thinking that there are so many people in the world that you're going to meet who can impact your life so much more in the way you would want to be treated. I'm sorry to say and surely let me know if you think indifferently...but for my first love...I don't ever think I was ever really in love with him, but only in love with the thought of being in love. I think because over the period of the relationship we learned to just be with each other rather than wanting to be with each other, things began to become more uniform. When you give your everything and receive nothing in return for so long, all that made me realize it wasn't the person I was with who made the love present, it seemed to be me all along. I think I'm just going crazy :\
From that I may have gotten hurt, in which I thought again, this is it, never again will things ever be the same for me. But the world is filled with different people and nothing is ever going to be the same. You've got to learn that there may be a chance that life might screw you over once again but sometimes its worth the risk, the rejection, and mostly the experience, so that one day it may allow you to give yourself completely.

I'm not a perfect person, I'll make mistakes from time to time, but I will reassure you communication between one another. I would rather tell you what you need to hear than what I think you want to hear. I will never intentionally hurt you. I will give you my heart when you're willing to take it with care. I will give you whatever you need even if it means I have to hurt.

I did it once, and I can do this again. but when the second time comes around its not going to be easy because I'm stubborn and scared shitless of a lot of things that may happen along the way. If I tried again and began to give my all, knowing there's a possibility of everything happening again, with the feeling of receiving the love in return or at least partially there, what am I supposed to think? That's my risk. This time I'm willing to..its much more worth it to me.

work 12-4(7)
free for the rest of the day.

halloween.

...enhances how scary life could be.
costume or no costume, you can never hide true feelings.
I've been through a lot. Everyone has been through a lot. But you can never say you're going through something alone. to the point that you tend to push everyone aside because you feel as if everything is falling apart. because there are a few out there who are going through or have gone through something similar as you.
Song that may come to mind at the moment would probably be.. Selfish by NSYNC. As much as it hurts, I am up for it because I know in the end it'll be well worth the wait.

I've come to the realization that...People can't be happy with someone else if they're not happy with themselves first. Now that is when the understanding point of view comes in. For a relationship to work you have two people. Both people grow together in order to ensure the well-being of one another. That is when you begin to learn sometimes you have to sacrifice a lot in order to make something work. That is when you know its more than just something ordinary.

I'm in a poopy mood. Hope my day doesn't completely disappoints me.

Work 3pm-8pm
B-day Party (maybe)
Home. Sleep.

Happy Halloween. Be safe tonight.

i wish...

things could be easier, for the both of us.

I haven't felt more alone than I did tonight.
Even though I was surrounded by people I care about.
My mind wouldn't let me believe, that things are going to be ok.
I waited all day...nothing.

I'm going to sleep, in hopes tomorrow will be a better day.

heartbreak...

I went through it once this year...I don't know if I can do it again :(

Wondering why?
8 months ago things ended with my ex boyfriend of 2 years. I think I can honestly say, those were the most horrible moments of my life. I couldn't eat, sleep, let alone breathe. I think what kept me going was the support of my family, my friends, and my pledging process for Alpha Phi Omega. It had seemed like I wouldn't be able to live my life again or even be able to love again. In the beginning of January I had met someone who became someone I confided in so much to the point that over time after the breakup I was able to possibly see myself with but hadn't been able to pursue anything because of a few issues. 6 months of friendship. 3 months after the drama. I found myself to be completely happy with this person. He knew how to make a girl weak in the knees by just being himself. Although it had only been 3 months after my breakup a big part inside of me knew I wanted to be with him despite what anyone said. Some may have thought I moved on so quickly but because someone ruined things for me once I wasn't going to let that get in the way of trying again. June comes around and my wishes came true. We became a couple.

4 months roll by til today. and I can say that I've honestly been happy these past 4 months. Putting my heart into every moment within this relationship. Trying to make the most of what we have and what may come along the way until recently. Things have been...different. and today was the day that took my breath away. Him and I had the "talk" about how we both felt and to come out of that conversation was devastating. I haven't cried this hard since march and to have to hear that something is going wrong in something that I felt was so right hurt me like no other.

So what now? well things are left up in the air of whether or not we are together. Time has been given in order to work all this out. As for me I'm living in the fear of history repeating itself but I'm not sure if things will turn out as it once did. With this one I hope to God it doesn't fail. I don't want him to give up so easily, I want him to know that he makes me happy. and that its ok to be afraid of being in love again. The only thing I can do now is wait, and give him his time. I'm scared.

fallling down the drain

...quicker than I expected. Everything is just going not the way I thought it would. am I being paranoid? am I getting what I wanted in the beginning? I regret a lot of my thoughts and actions. Because apparently its coming true. I'm sad about a few things.

First loves scar you for life. Although they teach you to love, they teach you to hurt but from all that you gain strength in finding who you are, who you can be, and a step closer to finding the perfect companion. But how come from getting hurt so badly you lose the will to trust again let alone love someone completely again.

You end up having this high expectation and your suddenly weighed down by your dragging heart. It doesn't make any sense to me. Nothing every does.


today:
sociology midterm.
school.
study.
AphiO meeting.
home.

stole an apple

luna marie stole an apple, started to nibble on it, and then threw it around as if it was a tennis ball.

study study study time.

dinner with sexy fatass rockstars :)

cha-ching

last night was a complete success.
the food was great. the music was awesome. the guests were happy.
I was so glad to see that everyone was enjoying themselves.
I can't even begin to explain how delicious dinner was.

This is a photo of my Sexy Fatass Rockstar Family... Grand Big, Biggie, Me, and my Lil. (left to right)
by the way... in response to my blog about choosing an outfit..that is how it turned out. better than I actually expected.

Today was a very relaxing day. I got to see my good friend Missy today because she came home from San Francisco. It was nice being with my friends for a bit. food nonetheless was the bonus on our reunion.

APO SECTION 1 FF 102508

I woke up today at about 4:45am. Got my stuff together and arrived at school at 7am.
Everyone set up the area and Registration began at about 8am-ish. Everything happened so quickly: set-up. registration. 1st workshops. 2nd workshops. lunch. IC buddies.

I came home at 3pm and barely took a 20min nap :\ now I've got to get ready for banquet set up at 5pm. actual banquet 6pm-12am. clean-up. home sweet home. I am ready to eat the really good food and dance!

I'll post up pictures from the night tomorrow.
as for now...I'm going to enjoy the night.

Freeze-Chris Brown

I love that song :)

Today I...
went to school.
worked on banquet programs.
had lunch with some Alpha Phi Omega bros.
mall.
work 4pm-9pm.
dessert with boyfriend.
home.

Time to sleep early, I have to wake up early again :\
Fall Fellowship tomorrow.

good deal :)

For my banquet this coming Saturday I bought two dresses in which I still had trouble on debating which on to wear. But I've come to the decision to wear the dress on the right with some gold heels.

Why? Well you see, I bought this dress for about $30 which I thought was pricey enough for this vintage-looking piece. So the other day my mom was like "Hey your dress is in this Delia's magazine" I took a look at it and she was correct it was the exact same dress but for $55. Then as I was searching through Macys Online store, I saw the same exact dress AGAIN but this time it was for $64. From all that, I came to the conclusion that this is the right dress to wear. As for the other one i purchased (which is super cute as well but requires extra accessories that costs more money), I believe I should return that sucker and buy some matching shoes :)

Should I wear patented: pointy-tip black heels, peep toe, strappy black
Or one of the Following...


bronze pumps





or strappy gold sandals
(maybe some with bling on the straps)

successful in more ways than one

So last night I succeeded in pulling an infamous all-nighter and I finished my essay. I felt quite accomplished but then got tired halfway through my day. class was very interactive. went to lunch with my friends. went home. napped for about 2hrs? and then went with my sister to Albertsons and we both bought pumpkins to carve. I ended up carving a wolf and my sister did a tiger. (I will post pictures soon) It brought memories back from the good ole days when my sisters and I used to enjoy removing the inner part of the pumpkin. Getting my hands all covered in pumpkin guts made me laugh a lot :)

Tomorrow my teacher had canceled my 3:30 class so that meant more time to prepare items for Fall Fellowship and Banquet this Saturday. I am hoping it turns out better than expected. My big and Leo worked super hard on putting the event together so I'm hoping for the best. I feel like dancing!

Sometimes I still get bothered with things here and there. I've grown to let go over these past few months, yet I find myself still in the process of getting out. But for some reason it feels as if I've been trapped. That or my mind is just keeping myself trapped when I could simply set myself free.

So much on my mind, and as much as I'd like to share how I feel, I don't think it can be possible in my situation. and for me sometimes its best to keep things unsaid. tomorrow is another busy day.
au revoir.

damn...

pulling an all-nighter tonight.
wish me luck.

infuriated

beyond belief.

I can't believe my own mother would ever say something like that to me. I'm unbelievably upset right now... and its freaking so early in the morning. I hate crying. I hate not having someone to talk to. I just hate everything right now.

Everything will be better in the morning.

...sucks how one moment can change a lot.

Geeze Louise.

relaxing day.
stressful night

AIDs Walk, Los Angeles

...was a wonderful experience because of all the support that was given throughout the day. a huge amount of people donated and joined the walk in the fight against AIDs. We all walked about 6 miles :) so that was what consisted most of my day.

I spent a lot of time bonding with my lil and getting to know all the little things about him. We have much more in common than I thought. He's smart and he's funny.

I'm too tired to even blog. This weekend was unbelievably fast. I can't believe tomorrow is already back to school with so much shit due. fudge.

Picnic at the park

Today I woke up super early just to prepare everything for my lil. and this is how it went.
woke up 7am.
cleaned the bathroom.
got ready.
left and went to torrance bakery to buy brownie cookies.
Cerritos mall, met up with clarice. (bought phone covers haha)
bought CPK and Red Robin for my lil lol.
drove to the park.
had a picnic with all Bigs and Lils.
Played games.
Went to work at 4.
Ended at 9pm.
Guppies with Allan. (Thank you Allan-Gene for the DVD I've been searching forever for)
home.

and now bubble town competition with allan. :)
tomorrow AIDs Walk Los Angeles
<--those are the cookies I got from the bakery.
they were delicious.


My lil is going to be fat by the time he's done

whoop-de-doo

busy weekend begins!

work tonight was super tiring, I folded a lot of shirts :P
tomorrow AphiO event in the afternoon. and then off to work again at night. whoop-de-doo!
hopefully at work I'm doing something like cashier. better yet, I really really hope they cut my shift today. so that I can stay with AphiO longer.

back to business.

what's cookin' good lookin'

"you used to make me smile, you used to make me laugh, but now your attitude makes me want to yak."

I randomly found that while reading a magazine article, and I found it quite hilarious :)

very relaxing day. It mainly consisted of breakfast, Brea mall, Jamba juice, went home early, napped, Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy, groomed Luna Marie.

now I'm in the mood to clean my room :P weird?

The next 3 days are going to be hectic but fun:
Friday: school 10-10:50. work 5pm-10pm
Saturday: AphiO Event 12pm. Work 4pm-9pm.
Sunday: AIDs Walk.

I want to hangout with my friends this weekend.

sexy :) fatass (_|_) r<3ckstar

Last night I received the newest addition to my family within my fraternity. Finally after constant streak of girls we got a boy! He's my Lil, and from the looks of it we make a pretty damn good Bight Lil. I'm super happy about this one. He has optimism and determination written all over him. I'm happy to say our line is growing. I want to be a good big and to be able to help guide my lil during his pledging process. Food, talks, hangouts, whatever it may be, I will be there for him!
Welcome to the family!!

_I just took a work load off my shoulders from school. and boy am I feeling a bit more relieved.
_I miss hanging out with my friends and how we used to waste time outside the house and ask each other "what are we going to do now?" or "what do you want to do?"

Whenever there is a good, there's always a bad. And I know in the time of high spirits especially from the event last night something just had to go wrong. A little birdie calls me and brings me news that I shouldn't be shocked about because I knew it was coming but on the other hand. It just hit me, and it hit me pretty hard.

Scarves, Hats, Gloves, and Warm Drinks

As the Fall season is slowly making its way in I've found comfort in a hot cup of tea and layers of clothing. The weather seriously gets the best of me. Fall means, new clothing styles, 3 of the Best holidays of the year, my birthday, snow, and the year coming to an end. As for the cons it consists of projects due, midterms, research papers, and finals, which all fall under the category of school blah.

I'm genuinely a happy person. I have the necessities in life that can make me happy for years to come. From family to friends, a good education, social life, etc. However I feel like I'm missing something sometimes. I look back in the past and I noticed I was a very involved person: Filipino Dance Group, Tennis, Piano, Choir, Etc. I used to always look forward to performing or doing something out of just school and home. Work however has been wonderful and understanding. But besides all that I feel like I have nothing that I'm passionate for to lean towards. Alpha Phi Omega however brought attention to me through the bonds and friendships I've gained. The community service available gives me only so much as to being able to make that certain change in someone's life. I just need to find something I can give most of my attention to.
...I sat down in front of the piano the other day, and just played. It felt good to put my feelings through music.

I'm mad, sad, frustrated. why? because I'm still hurting.

anticipation.

and frustration.

Tomorrow is the day. as for tonight...
-Figure out plans for tomorrow.
-Work on essay.
-Study.
-Read Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
-Work on surprise.

I'm too antsy to keep still. I want to know now..but I've got to be patient til tomorrow.
Wish me luck :)

(If you don't know what I'm talking about, I will surely explain it in my next blog)

no sleep tonight...

LB Marathon

3:50 AM was the time a good amount of people started arriving at school. Soon enough about 30+ actives and pledges were up so early in the morning. We all signed in, assigned people to each car and off we went. My car consisted of Bryant, Justin, and John. On our way to LB Marathon all the streets had been blocked off and soon enough we ended up in the DOCKS and boy was it creepy. we seriously ended up where those huge cargo crates are shipped and so we had to go back ALL the way from where we came from and finally got to the place.
I forgot to mention how FREEZING it was at 4am in the morning til about 9am. I was so cold but at the same time I loved it. So my groups' task consisted of cheering on the Bikers, and the marathon runners. My throat hurts from screaming for a good 30 minutes straight. After that we headed over to In-N-Out to do what we do best..EAT :)
I then dropped the boys back at school and I headed for home. Upon my arrival, I did the usual check my email etc. and then knocked out SIIIICK :P til 7:30 PM.

now off to begin homework. bleh.

LA Food Bank

Today I woke up at 7am to get ready. My big and I left for LA around 8ish. and met up with Aphio Bros and Pledges at the LA Food Bank. We went there to help volunteer by picking out which foods were still good and which ones were ready to be dumped. The service had its ups and downs. Overall I enjoyed it.
When I got home I knocked out for a good 3hours. Around 6:30 I met up with Joey, Allan, Heather, Roland, and David Min at Pho 2000. Food is always delicious. We headed over to Allan's house and cooked chocolate cupcakes and added whip cream on top. Cooking makes me happy :)

The weather today was GORGEOUS!! The air was crisp and felt like needles under my skin haha.
Pulling an all nighter tonight, because I've gotta be at school at 4am for Service.

high of 70 low of 53

It surely feels like the fall weather is kicking into effect. I can feel it in the air :) and boy does that make me happy. a low of 53 degrees tonight?? can you believe it? I get to wear a jacket and drink hot tea or something haha. I can't wait for the rainy days and layering so that you're all warm and bundled up. better yet, I can't wait for...SNOWBOARDING SEASON!

This year my friends and I plan to go to some resort area, and rent a cabin for 3 days and 2 nights. That would make my year! I love the rush snowboarding gives you as you are riding down the mountain, and even if you do end up eating it and landing on your face, it's well worth the experience and thrill.
I'm in the mood to go to Six Flags sometime soon. or some sort of theme park :)

Things to do today:
continue reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
work on essay.
<--eat korean bbq (?)
relax.
buy supplies for banquet.
deposit check.
cook beef steak for tomorrow.
workout (?)

a few thoughts.
My shins are sore from running the other day. I get upset quickly when someone does something and it's probably done unintentionally but still bugs me, when I shouldn't care. I've made a lot of mistakes but I've learned from them too. How come friendships tend to become competitive from what I've observed. I keep trying to find answers to why things happen the way they do/did. Someone please help me make sense of these things. Save me from my misery.

"there's nothing..

in this world there's not another boy that can make me feel so sweet"
-There's Nothing-Sean Kingston ft. Paula Deanda
random but it's the song playing on my itunes at the moment.

<-aren't those paper flowers cute :P I'm inspired to make them soon enough. Maybe during a lecture when I'm in the mood to be a little crafty.

Today was somewhat very productive for me. I went to my 8am class then after class i went back to the union to say hi to aphio people. Joey and I left for the mall around 11. So I went into work to get my schedule for next week and my manager came to me and said "Hiii, do you get direct deposit?" and my answer was no, because I trust the whole, me picking it up personally better. then he said "Do you want your check? just don't tell anyone I gave it to you early, and don't deposit it til tomorrow :)" haha I love the people at my work they're soo chill. Once I left the store, I opened up my check only to be happy to find out I made much more than I had expected yay for me. Shopping for Joey was the goal for the day but I was delighted to have found two dress options for my fraternity's banquet on the 25th. the dresses are too cute and I couldn't pass the chance to purchase the last sizes. so I took them both, and when I get opinions about one or the other, then that is when I may return the one with the less votes :P. After the mall boyfriend and I went over to Lollicup to enjoy a Green Apple Slush w/mini boba, Taro Milk Tea, squid balls, and fried calamari, it was all delicious. Back to school I went where I took a nap in my car for an hour then at 3ish I headed over to my english class. Now I am home sweet home.

Tonight I'm going on a date. A date with myself, the couch, and new episodes of Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy. What an exciting night. As for now... "AU REVOIR!"

"Goodmorning my little star shine"

that was my fist text from clarice for the day :) thanks pudding pie!

so expectations for the week have not been met. I am still feeling quite sluggish from the weekend and its only wednesday. the middle of the effing week.

So I was browsing through my works' website and I came across a fedora that I am contemplating on purchasing. I found one at Urban outfitters the other day that I am going to buy hopefully today because it was on sale for only 9.99 such a deal! To the right of this entry I've found a compilation of a few stars rocking this new trend. I wanna get in on the fun. upon my decision of whether I buy that hate I will be updating you possibly with pictures of my new fashion delight.

Today I...
went to class.
had lunch.
hung out with aphio.
napped.
watched A Knight's Tale
run with luna and my sister with her dog.
worked out.

To close this off, with my thought for the night...I think Heath Ledger is unbelievably DREAMY. :( unfortunately he passed away a few months ago. So young and so talented. RIP.