close your eyes.

and breathe.
that's what i keep having to tell myself.

mahal na mahal.

What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets...your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows... and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does...
When I say "I love you," It's not because I want you or because of the mere fact that I'm already with you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, who you are, what you do, and how you try. I've seen your kindness, strength, will-power, and caring self. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I am beginning to understand with perfect clarity who you are and who you want to be...a somebody in this crazy mixed up world.

Believe in the good. Believe that although there is good, there will be bad. Believe in hope. Believe in others. Believe in life...but first of all believe in yourself.

"Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand."

spring semester 2010

...hectic start. but a good one.
I like my classes so far.
it's exciting.

i dream...

of a better place.
not like this one.
more peace.
no anger. just hope.
let the conscience run free.
away from all the formalities society blinds us with.
to be happy without worry.
to live without fear.

my mind...

is overwhelmed and occupied.

with so many thoughts, worries, etc.

emotions are annoying sometimes, hard to control.

untamable.

tomorrow is a new day (looking at the time, it's already today)

glad to return to work, and be able to focus.

school in 2 days.

excited and scared at the same time.

i need to grab hold of myself.

figure out my wants & needs.

express.

use whatever motivation i have to finish as soon as possible.

faith in self, is what i lack. i think i've mentioned that before.

set priorities straight.

allow relaxation and lessen stress.

build character, strengthen friendship.

i want to go shopping at Goodwill/thrift stores.

work on becoming a better me.

at the top of my lungs

i just want to scream.

whomp whomp wednesday...

how lame was that =P. extremely i think...

let me take a second to talk about Jimmy Choo and the collaboration they're planning to do with UGGs. what do i think?... quite DISGUSTING really!! I've never been a fan of UGGs despite their comfort and softness. I mean i guess it's okay if it were used as an in home house slipper but as a piece to complete an outfit, NO THANK YOU! Come on Jimmy Choo, you're classy, sophisticated, and hip! your prices are insane but that's because you've got quality. What are you going to do? make a pair of $1000+ worth UGGs. please don't.

(no offense to those who do wear UGGs, this is my opinion and it may or may not be right, but that is up to your own judgement =) thank you!)

dear heart...

back in 2008 going into 2009 I told you... "You have been through it all. The pain, happiness, sorrow, etc. but I guess I don't regret it one bit. It was those times that really helped me realize a lot, better late than never right? and so here you are now so weak yet so strong but still willing to love again eventually. Sometimes the memories are worth the pain"

And well, nothing really has changed from that. except the fact that you're well taken care of now. I remember writing that post, after being hurt once again, and feeling as if you had no one by your side to help and guide you through it all. When maybe that's not what you needed. While what you needed most was the strength of self, belief, and the desire to want happiness. Things are surely not going to be perfect nor will it be easy. So believe it now that you're going to need to work at it in order to get the satisfaction of both, the heart you give and the heart you receive. There's no such thing as being careless and spontaneous with you because it's within those moments that help me find the one who is able to find you and be able to give you all that you need. It was never once a search but more of a unexpected fall for someone that was already great. Let go of your insecurities and your fear because when you let your guard down, you experience so much more, and if (God forbid) you get hurt again you've been through it before so you can surely survive it again. but, things seem to be different now and this time around i think we'll be okay. happy and whole, ready to love completely with someone who genuinely feels the same. take care of yourself, i'll be right here with you through it all.

Love, Kayla Sapida

mere amusement

Today's just one of those days when I get to sit/lay around and just be bored out of my mind, so my sister and I were on our laptops in the dining room and decided to find our astrology compatibility with our current boyfriends...

Scorpio & Gemini Romantic Compatibility

When Gemini and Scorpio come together in a love affair, they'll need to learn to understand and accept one another's differences -- and if they can, they will be a nearly unbreakable couple. Where Gemini is adaptable, intellectual, outgoing and chatty, Scorpio tends to be secretive, focused, intense and determined. Gemini tends to take things lightly, including their lover; Scorpio, on the other hand, has a very deep need for emotional connection and intimacy. Scorpio is generally very loyal to their lover and very connected to the relationship.

This relationship tends to be highly passionate and can often be characterized by arguments; Gemini loves a good debate, considering it the epitome of mental stimulation, and that characteristic Gemini flirtatiousness tends to grate on Scorpio's jealous, possessive nerves. Despite these differences, however, this is no dull relationship. Both Signs love to take chances and spice it up! They have lots of adventures together, but if things get too tense and arguments start to turn negative, they must make the effort to reconcile if they value the relationship and want it to last.

Gemini is ruled by the Planet Mercury (Communication) and Scorpio is dually ruled by the Planets Mars (Passion) and Pluto (Power). Scorpio is generally quite concerned with sexual and emotional intimacy; they need much reassurance that their lover values the relationship as much as they do. Thank goodness, then, for Gemini's excellent communicative abilities; the Twins should have no trouble communicating their dedication to the Scorpion -- if it's dedication they feel. Gemini can't and won't fake a commitment they don't feel, so intense Scorpio must learn to back off a bit. Gemini will certainly make a commitment to a love relationship, but only if they're free to do so on their own, not coerced into it.

Gemini is an Air Sign and Scorpio is a Water Sign. These two elements can be a great combination; after all, the best decisions are made when they incorporate the intellect (Air) and the emotions (Water) -- the mind and the heart. The trick, of course, is getting these two elements to work in tandem. Scorpio is a master strategist; if there's a decision to be made or a project at hand, they can help flighty Gemini focus on the best options. Gemini, in turn, teaches Scorpio to let go and move on when their efforts are thwarted. There is a downside to these two elements' union, however; Scorpio's emotional manipulations can prove to dampen Gemini's natural energy and enthusiasm. Also, airy Gemini can leave Scorpio's deep waters feeling choppy, rough and disturbed.

Gemini is a Mutable Sign and Scorpio is a Fixed Sign. Gemini tends to do things on a whim, just for the experience, contrary to Scorpio, who almost always has a plan (or an ulterior motive) in mind. Scorpio can use their focus and determination to help teach Gemini the value in finishing things before jumping headlong into the next experience. Once these two begin to understand that they can enjoy a satisfying relationship -- Gemini providing the reasoning and brain power and Scorpio bringing their healthy dollop of sex appeal, emotionalism and passion -- they can enjoy a truly mutually satisfying relationship.

...it's just so weird how it SEEMS to explain a lot.

flibbertigibbet

definition:
\FLIB-ur-tee-jib-it\ , noun;

1. A silly, flighty, or scatterbrained person, especially a pert young woman with such qualities.
[That was the Word of The Day on dictionary.com]
^sounds a lot like me doesn't it?

I'm in this state of not being able to clearly express how i'm feeling at this moment. Am i mad? sad? happy? content? indifferent? somewhat feeling apathetic really. I can't get enough of what I really want if I tried, i don't even know what it is that I really want. I've already came to the conclusion about a year ago that I have many insecurities and doubts. Which both become harmful in times of thought and wonder. Why do I feel this way? What makes me feel like this? How can I prevent it? Maybe it's just being a part of me and something that happens unintentionally or subconsciously?!? Tell me how is it that I have everything that I've ever wanted and STILL I yearn for more.

I need more faith. Faith in myself, faith in others. I've lost hope in a lot of people, things, etc. Being let down makes it hard to stay positives sometimes.

what an emo post right?...but to me, it says a lot.

If only..

Silver/Blue1 by kaylakayyy

...being fabulous would cost less, i'd shop for anything & everything.

This outfit is different but something that caught my eye. I added the dog..well because one day i'd love to be a proud owner of a Great Dane. but for now I am very satisfied with my brilliant siberian husky. The blue sequins dress is flattering with or without the gray scarf top. The choice of the rings were to add that dark and metal feel to the outfit along with the chain purse. These boots are quite adorable because it has its winter look to it, better look cute for being $950+ worth. I'm too lazy to blog right now...so until next time! TOODLES