end of january

It has been a tough month. but I am surely excited for February, it's going to be an interesting one.
Work today 3-6(9)pm. then freetime with friendsies.

one of those lazy days.

Once again, I woke up later than expected and so I got to school at about 15min before class started. Luckily I made it on time although I was most likely out of breath when I walked through the door. Then after class ended and since it was only 50min long it was only 8:50am which is too early to do anything. So I decided to hangout with those who either had a class at 10am or 11am. After everyone left I walked back to my car and headed over to the bank. I was glad I got to deposit all my money not including the check I got today so it'll even be more. Eastside Mario's was pretty good and so once we got back, it was nap time for me til 4pm. Work came along at 5pm and I got to work with my favorite people. btw JROCK!! you are my favorite co-worker :) They used my oncall so i worked til 10pm and met up with randy and roland at wing-stop. Once we got back to Allans, fresh baked mini chocolate-chip cookies were delicious.

Driving home tonight was a challenge only because I would stare into space or I was just exhausted. solution to that is...sleep :) goodnight

dear thursday,

you were fun :)

brownies for breakfast. class. pick up work schedule. dinner w/ allan and roland. tennis w/ lil.
good day. so goodnight.

cooking mama

...isn't a fitting name for me, but it is an addicting game. I baked brownies but I added too much chocolate chips and so it was very moist and wet in some areas of the batch. Hope my lil likes them.

Today was a relaxing day. I went to my classes. and then played pool with jerus, bryant, and my lil. Because I was paired up with my lil, We won! After all that Lil and I stayed at the union a little longer and chatted about a bunch of stuff. at about 7ish we then headed toward the parking structure to go home.

Tomorrow one class :) chill day.

first APO meeting of the year

was very successful, the room was full with almost everyone.
This morning I woke up at 5am and snoozed my alarm twice until actually getting up. I got up, got ready and at around 6am I prepared a cup of Mango Black Tea, that was very delicious and complimenting to the cold weather. When I got to school I was able to walk to the union before class with John and Clarice. and then Clarice and I headed over to our Chemistry lab which only lasted about 30minutes max. I killed the rest of my time til my 11am class at the union just talking and watching the last episode of my Filipino drams with Jessika :). At 11am I was super hesitant to go to my Geography class because I didn't know anyone taking it, but luckily I bumped into someone I knew from last semester's English class. After class I spent even more time at the union waiting for my Lil to get outta class. At around 3pm my lil and I got to play tennis at the newly built tennis courts at school and they are super nice. Made me want to play competitively again. Unfortunately tomorrow I'll probably be sore as hell but it's well worth it. KFC with my big&lil was good. Meeting was interesting. Me? I'm tired and exhausted.

Tomorrow is going to be another loooonnnngggg day. fudge.
Chem 8-8:50 Math 9:30-10:45 Psych 12:30-1:45

springsemester

1st day of the semester wasn't too bad.
My teachers are all very interesting and I've enjoyed the classes so far.
Chemistry. Math. Psychology

I'm tired and exhausted.
school tomorrow.
Chemistry Lab. Geography. Tennis. Aphio

resistance.

I'm trying to resist the urge to want to make things better. But the matter is not in my hands. I've done all that I could do. I just wished for a better outcome. I will be honest with myself and everyone else. I miss him. I miss the laughter. His company during either breakfast/lunch/dinner or even just being around him. But most of all I miss the friendship. Being able to know someone like him is there, to call when I feel like crap or to vent about how stupid things are from time to time. I know there are those who I can turn to for all that. but he was a big part of my life that I barely got to grasp a connection with. Despite the issues that came up, it was something that I was willing to work around to make at least just a friendship work. I hope to get over all of this one day, but to think that throwing away what could have been one of those life-long friendships would haunt me for days, months, or even years to come. You don't meet that many people in your life in which you can actually say, he/she changed my life for the better.

Maynard Navalta. Son, Brother, Husband, and Father to 3 girls. Died last night in a Motorcyle accident on his way home from work. He retired from the Military not to long ago and was only in his late 20s. He was the eldest out of 7 kids and was a very responsible individual. Just to think someone that you've seen and grown up with throughout your childhood is now dead and gone. It takes someone to pass away, to realize that life is too short to waste time. You will be greatly missed.

This winter break has seemed unbelievably long. Starting tomorrow Spring semester begins, and I surely can't wait to see where it takes me. Lets hope for the best.

cheer-up buttercup

Good people don't deserve to get hurt. No one deserves to get hurt both good or bad. It just happens. A lot of people in our lives tend to go through the same experiences we go through, in every different way or form. So you would most likely in any situation take the time to handover advice to those who are in need of it. But have you ever stopped to take your own advice for a change. Story is today, for once I clearly heard myself and it was nice to be able to take it and use it for my own life. All I need now is the time and confidence haha.

I Love my Sisters :)


Diva1 - by kaylakayyy on Polyvore.com

I like this look because it has that sophisticated-ness to it. I know I will never be able to afford that purse but everything else seems easy to reach :)

i can say...

I'm better today, than I have been in the past few days. and I know it is going to take a really long time for me to get over all this. but I just wished I had some closure or understanding to why things have to end this way, or questions as to why it has to even end at all. Friendships are one thing that I treasure most. You win some, you lose some. but no matter what there are those who remain there through the battle. So here I am waiting in vain..

Two-thousand-nine you barely started and I've had to go through all this? already? couldn't you have given me some slack, or some genuine happiness for once. I've grown stronger in the past few months then I have been in the last year. I'll be ok, because everything is ok.

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of doing it alone and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quite persistence of a dream.

Happy Birthday Mother!

...I love you more than anything in the world, even if you can't read this :)

Polyvore try #2 :)

Boho1 - by kaylakayyy on Polyvore.com

I really like this look because it combines both casual and comfort. I think back and laugh at how I used to think shoes like those were ugly but, I've grown to like them ever since I once tried them on at Aldo. Soon enough my outfits i try to put together will look better.

Its about 4:23 in the morning. My big and lil came over. We played tennis, came back to my house, ate dinner, baked brownies, ate a lot. big left around 1am and lil didn't leave til about 3ish. I am not as tired as I should be but I could sleep if I tried. Funny thing is that my sister is already waking up to go to work soon. because it is now 4:50am. ok I think it is a sign to go to bed now.

Today:
sleep
work (on-call) 5pm-9pm
birthday dinner for mother.

something new

at the beginning of every semester. I try and find something that I can be more attentive to besides the regular school, friends, family, and boy issues... So my sister (BeautyIsOnly) is such a fasionista, that I have decided to somewhat join in on the fun. Although I never said it's any good, but the job will do. I wanted to start of with this whole polyvore site in which you are able to take different pieces of clothing, accessories, etc. to make up a whole new ensemble.
Here's my two cents:

Polka-dot chic by kaylakayyy
The reason I chose the dress, is because it had a lot of colors to it, so that it was easier to mix and match with different accessories. I used red as the color of choice as you can see in the bag, and the bottom of the black pumps. I also think that the black leather jacket added some attitude to the look :)
It may suck, but hey it'll get better in the process, Just you wait.

shine on

history has been set. the future is now in our President's hands. let's hope for the best.

Today was something else. I hungout with more of my bros, and although for a good amount of time in the day I left my phone at home, I didn't go as crazy as I thought I'd be, although I would much prefer having it with me at all times, today wasn't that bad. Hiking with them, and seeing the views from Turtle Rock was amazing. Absolutely breath-taking. I needed it. the escape into nature where life is carefree.

despite all that has been going on...I would also like to thank the people in my life who have shown much loyalty and honesty through the friendships they have provided me with now matter how long or short it has been. I am so grateful to have people care about me no matter how annoying I may seem. That is when you are able to distinguish who deserves to stay in your life. Many people are surely going to come and go. It'll suck but it's a cycle that just happens. You don't choose for it to happen, it just happens. Friendship is more important to me than anything else. you form the bond and companionship with people who you would be able to confide all feelings to. and to have that support group to be able to back yourself up, when you feel like it's the end of the world. That is what I am thankful for most. My high school best friends, my aphio bros, and especially my rockstars! Today was a good day.

days grow longer

and I tend to keep hurting myself by repeating the "conversation" over and over again in my head. to have to wake up in the middle of the night to what seems are the worst nightmares ever, only to find out that its all real. I'll give you whatever it is that you need in order to make things ok in the end. as for my patience, love, and friendship...it seems to be hanging for dear life by a single thread of hope.

The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.

...

"There are things in life that oppress us that we fight so hard to resist. We struggle through these obstacles and hardships to be better ourselves as people, learn about life, and how far our limits can be pushed. we are all encouraged by these struggles that test our determination to fight and overcome in order to obtain the freedom we all long for in the end."

why?
That is all I've been asking myself lately. It hurts to see everything fall apart because of such mis-communication. To lose someone you care about so much, over something so stupid. Here I am once again, missing you.

new&old

Its nice to hangout with new faces. but its better to be able to hangout with the favorites.
Heather, Clarice, Missy, Zee, Elvis, Glenn, Allan, and Roland :) fun times.
Poker was hilarious, and intense. Chocolate chip cookies were bomb.

Work was alright today. got a sick bruise though :( work again tomorrow, I've missed it.

3wins

in a row was pretty fun. Today was very chill. I was really glad I got to see Clarice today because it has been a while since I've last seen let alone actually be able to talk to her. CPK salad is so good. I'm craving cookies and mint ice cream.

Happy 22nd Birthday Tine :)
I love you sister. Hope your day went well today!

Recently I've been feeling kind of distant from myself. Weird right? but it just seems as if I'm not the same person I was just a few months ago. A lot has changed, and to think that things won't get any better is the wrong mentality because I know for a fact I will get over things eventually. I guess its the waiting period for things to become okay is the part that sucks. I keep doing the same thing to myself when I shouldn't, damn freakin' assumptions suck because it entirely messes up your thoughts, emotions, and realizations to what could be the solution to the problem. In conclusion, I'm not making any sense anymore.

Tomorrow:
work.
poker.
party.
bleh.

picnic, poker, pool

Today was a really good day :) got to hangout with my big, lil and john. so the things I did today were, Picnic @ a secret park in Palos Verdes, Pinkberry, Target, play poker/blackjack for 4hrs, ate Wingstop, played pool for almost 3hrs. I'm happy so for now, let's leave it at that. Tomorrow is another day.

selfish

I took a few friends' advice and spent the WHOLE day at home, just chillin' I got a few things out of my day that seemed accomplishing. I was able to talk to my mom about life stuff, made a salad, washed my car, watched episodes of Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Privileged, and The Game that I've missed this past week. and I also gave myself some time to contemplate on a few things. I've been noticing that a lot has been changing so suddenly lately, but it's one of those things that you just have to deal with bc it's a understandable situation. I miss a lot of things, but I'm thankful to have been able to get closer to my lil. He must be tired of me by now, but I appreciate his support. as for my big she's still hands down, the best big ever. Lately I've been trying to keep myself busy so that emotions and thoughts wouldn't corrupt my daily living. It has worked for the most part, but I do wonder how long I'd be able to keep this up

happiest place on earth.

Disneyland was amazing. I had such a blast today, and through the span of just one day I've grown to like this theme park a little more than yesterday. What got me most was probably Fantasmic. It was so eye-catching, exhilarating and everything seemed so technologically cool. ok I am officially pooped. but oh-so-very glad.
california adventure, disneyland, albertacos, watch don't mess with the zohan at lil's house. all in one day!
goodnight

hectic weather

first it's cold, then it's hot...gosh darn it Mother Nature, make up your freakin' mind already.

today was different. but a good kind of different. My life is slowly getting back into the beat of things, or what I am at least hoping is better. I'm getting into playing billiards and texas hold'em nowadays. I guess I like the thrill and the challenge it gives me. Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day :) can't wait.

i just might...

want school to start again :\

ironic

its weird to feel this way. to want so much more but just can't get to it.

being surrounded by a different group of people tonight was quite interesting. I liked the atmosphere and the whatever attitude.

i feel like a bug. that someone gets irritated of and would want to swat away. and i guess that's what i'll do fly away from it, and just mind my own business. that's how it's supposed to be right? but then how come it's so tough.

happy birthday big sister #1

cheers to you! hope tonight ends up to be more spectacular than you expect it to be. wow, 23? really? I know its not that old of a number but it's a big difference from before. i love you sister, even if we still argue til this day about little things, I came to believe that it's just in our nature of big sister vs. little sister haha!

re-cap of I remember whens:
_when we fought about who said poo that one time.
_when you got mad at me because the latex glove filled with water popped inside the house, and we fought then you walked away and i threw the hanger at you just as you entered your room so it hit the door and as I walked away thinking the job is done, the hanger zooms by my head missing to hit me by a strand of hair.
_I think that one time when I grabbed you by your hair and shoved your head into the wall.
_when you spit on my face and punched.
_the time you covered my mouth and I licked your hand.
...but all of this was ok, because I was a pretty bratty sister.

Yeah for all these times we've argued I don't regret it much, only because we can look back at them and laugh at how ridiculous we are. I LOVE YOU and hope everything turns out perfect. you deserve it.

blast.

Before all this talk about having so much fun the day did have its downfall haha. I woke up at 5am because I had been scheduled to work from 7am-10(12) and then go snowboarding after. I got to the cerritos area by 6:35am and stayed in my car til about 6:50am then headed into the mall. I stood outside of the store for the longest time talking to allan while I was waiting. and so pretty much close to an HOUR went by. and so I decided to leave a note saying I came and no one was there. and continued on with the day to buy the rest of the necessities. Then my manager called me and left a voicemail apologizing because she had changed the schedule and forgot to tell me. so at least I'm not in trouble :)...bought corned beef, picked up joey. went to heathers house. cooked. everyone arrived. geared up. loaded the vehicles. and headed on our way.
Snowboarding was amazing, especially getting to go with my friends :) I wasn't really able to go for that many runs on the courses that I wanted to, than I expected but I still loved it. and I really enjoyed being about to watch those who've never gone. and then there was one who had never been and came out being better than me (wtheck? i know) haha. the snow was a bit so-so. I was very proud of myself, because I've gotten my carving down for the most part. I just need to be able to control more and fear less :)

another exciting day.

finally :)

the day i've been waiting for has finally come...snowboarding time...waking up wasn't as hard as I thought it would be besides the fact that I couldn't sleep well because I'm too excited to go snowboarding today, unfortunately I am scheduled for work. so off I go to get ready for a wonderful adventure today. toodles :)

oh joy!

I had a really good day today. Let's leave it on a good note.
Snowboarding tomorrow. It's all I can think about.

glad.

for a lot of things in my life.

i hate goodbyes.

so my eldest sister is leaving to go back to New York in a few hours. and a part of me is feeling a little sad. she honestly is the glue that sticks the family together.

I have nothing really to look forward to today... I do know that I have to wake up in about 6hrs to go to church. wait around to call in for my on-call. and have the possibility of working or just spending time with my bests. The days have seemed to grow longer. I don't know what to expect anymore...my winter break isn't what I expected. a lot of things have changed over the past few weeks since school got out. and it's different. its surely going to take some getting used to. however, I am looking forward to going snowboarding this week, with people I care about, it's exciting.

on-calls.

I hate 'em. why? Because your day ends up being ruined, by having to sit around all day with no plans ahead so that when the times comes you call into work asking if they need you. The worst part about it, is when it ends up that you don't have to work in the end 50/50 chance and so you wasted a majority of your time waiting . on the other hand. its not like I have plans in the first place haha so I shouldn't be complaining. things just happen out of the blue. by the way, the reason I brought this up was only because that's my situation today :)

Ramblings:
_Last night was a crazy trip.
_My sleep was amazing.
_I had really crazy dreams. and I hate it when you're having the best dream ever but then you wake up to it not being true.total let down.
_Work didn't need me today for my on-call. now let's hope they won't need me tomorrow? I guess I just gotta wait and see.
_Thai food with my sisters was good.

The past few days have been super rough for me. and I can't understand why I'm feeling this way. Its bringing down the start of the year and it has BARELY started, I'm hoping over the next few weeks, things will start to pick up. I want to be happy. To be able to feel carefree for the rest of my break. but I'm missing something. School starts in about 23 days. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I'm hoping for the best this year. No matter how shitty it's been. I KNOW its going to get better :)

aftermath.

First, I wanna wish Debbie Lee a Happy 22nd Birthday :)

I like Ne-yo a lot. His voice surely makes up for his looks. not that looks matter. but usually really good singers have a cuteness to them. As for him, he's just full of "LIP" hahaha. I guess you can say him and I have something in common.

I am just so confused with what has been happening lately. I know a majority of things have been happening because of the way I let things happen. I will surely get over it by the end of the day.

2009

Happy New Years! 2009, please me good to me this year. so there up top is one of many pictures my sisters and I took. aren't we hot? Well New years Eve at home has always been our family's tradition. no going out with friends, no disneyland fireworks, or any of those things. It was just the usual family coming over and karaoke, alcohol, and a gigantic feast prepared on the table. My sisters and I were a little buzzed as we took these pictures that was why the photos needed a little editing with the saturation to lessen how red we were. Although out of the 3, I don't seem to get as red as the other two, so my sister said that I have more "mexican" in me. Ok so back to my explanation...I don't need a holiday to go out with my friends and get drunk til the point of not even remembering much of the night, because heck, I can do that any other day if I really wanted to. But as for family, we aren't together all the time, the moment is rare so I appreciate every second of it.

Random Ramblings:
_I love being able to videochat with my besties.
_This morning I was a little bummed at first because a lot of things are happening at once and I can't seem to be taking it well as I thought I would. but clarice calmed me down :) thanks hun, love youuu.
_I'm off today, which is pretty nice. Unfortunately next week I barely work because they are mostly all on-calls.
_snowboarding for sure next week suckas!!
_and to end this post, on a funny note: My Dad sang the same song 5 times on the karaoke, just because he wasn't satisfied with his score hahaha.