i can say...

I'm better today, than I have been in the past few days. and I know it is going to take a really long time for me to get over all this. but I just wished I had some closure or understanding to why things have to end this way, or questions as to why it has to even end at all. Friendships are one thing that I treasure most. You win some, you lose some. but no matter what there are those who remain there through the battle. So here I am waiting in vain..

Two-thousand-nine you barely started and I've had to go through all this? already? couldn't you have given me some slack, or some genuine happiness for once. I've grown stronger in the past few months then I have been in the last year. I'll be ok, because everything is ok.

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of doing it alone and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quite persistence of a dream.