...cheap thrill

...I experienced an exhilarating feeling today while diving into a pool, treading water, then continuing the swim to the other end...

I started the semester fearing all that because I could not swim (only underwater). Being able to overcome the fear made me feel really proud of myself for accomplishing one of my goals.

...next goal: dive off a 10m high platform :)

on some days...

...i wish i left for the navy 2 years ago...

...I remember the day I made the decision that I wanted to join the military. I was amazed and excited with the idea that I'd be helping someone and especially my country, along with all the wonderful benefits I'd receive for my future family. Beginning of January 2009, my heart was set to leave. To pursue a better life for myself knowing I'm doing this to make a better me...

Lately, I feel like I've lost myself, or as if my dream has been taken away from me. I feel like I don't have much to look forward to because I'm too busy trying to satisfy other people and not myself.

This is what I am used to: making others happy rather than myself.

...i just want to get away for a while.
anywhere but here...

before and after

I've always had that urge to do something great. To be someone better than who I already am, but lately I can't seem to find what it is I need to do to get that sense of accomplishment.

Do I really want to join the Navy? Do I want to be away from the people I love and the things I love doing? If I leave, will things change? Will my friends and family still be here? Will Luna remember me?

Those are a few questions running through my head. I want to help others sooo badly, but so many other things are holding me back. What am I going to do?

I don't know how to feel anymore. Or I don't know if my feelings are the same as before...

...save me.

...KFW

my mind is so puzzled. my feelings are angered. but especially, my heart is aching...

I cannot believe even until this day that you've left me. I miss the little things. The chats we had at least 3 times a week. The conversations we shared. You always said " despite how busy we are and how much we barely talk.. when we do talk it seems like things never changed, and you are seriously one of my best friends". You used to give me advice. You used to listen to me without judgment. I miss you so much and I need you more than ever right now... I need my friend... because I am so lost right now.

Listen to your heart...

Love is like a song: After a while, certain refrains keep repeating. However, don't forget that if you don't like the way this particular tune is shaping up, you can change it. Just make it a collaborative project.

...sigh x1000000

Yahoo Horoscope of the day :\

"Yes, you're facing a hard choice, but consider this novel point of view: What's best for you might end up being best for everyone in the long run. Learning to love yourself can do wonders for your relationship."


my heart aches.

listen...

You need time for yourself to mature and figure out what you really want in life. Young people often are intrigued with the idea of being married and raising a family, but feel cheated later on that they had no time to themselves.