heartbreak...

I went through it once this year...I don't know if I can do it again :(

Wondering why?
8 months ago things ended with my ex boyfriend of 2 years. I think I can honestly say, those were the most horrible moments of my life. I couldn't eat, sleep, let alone breathe. I think what kept me going was the support of my family, my friends, and my pledging process for Alpha Phi Omega. It had seemed like I wouldn't be able to live my life again or even be able to love again. In the beginning of January I had met someone who became someone I confided in so much to the point that over time after the breakup I was able to possibly see myself with but hadn't been able to pursue anything because of a few issues. 6 months of friendship. 3 months after the drama. I found myself to be completely happy with this person. He knew how to make a girl weak in the knees by just being himself. Although it had only been 3 months after my breakup a big part inside of me knew I wanted to be with him despite what anyone said. Some may have thought I moved on so quickly but because someone ruined things for me once I wasn't going to let that get in the way of trying again. June comes around and my wishes came true. We became a couple.

4 months roll by til today. and I can say that I've honestly been happy these past 4 months. Putting my heart into every moment within this relationship. Trying to make the most of what we have and what may come along the way until recently. Things have been...different. and today was the day that took my breath away. Him and I had the "talk" about how we both felt and to come out of that conversation was devastating. I haven't cried this hard since march and to have to hear that something is going wrong in something that I felt was so right hurt me like no other.

So what now? well things are left up in the air of whether or not we are together. Time has been given in order to work all this out. As for me I'm living in the fear of history repeating itself but I'm not sure if things will turn out as it once did. With this one I hope to God it doesn't fail. I don't want him to give up so easily, I want him to know that he makes me happy. and that its ok to be afraid of being in love again. The only thing I can do now is wait, and give him his time. I'm scared.