contemplative

You can never find a sense of who you really are, only until the point of almost losing yourself. I have myself to blame to feel the way I feel. Pessimism has taken over a few of my thoughts. It is my own fault and mistakes that lead me to this state of mind. but have you ever had the feeling as if the world is falling down upon your shoulders and there you are left all alone to carry it up on your own? whether or not others are there to support you and offer the help that you may need, you still choose to take such a heavy load and would prefer to handle it all by yourself. even if it means nothing will ever be the same. I've failed others, and most of all myself. It seems as if I'm falling down the drain into a sea of endless possibilities and struggles. I don't want to end up living the life I would never see myself doing. I want to be different. I want change. Never in my life have I ever wanted change, especially when I felt as if life was perfect with the way things had been going, but just recently I thought, maybe change is necessary to move on.

I pray for the worst to become better. I pray for the well-being of others around me. I pray for genuine happiness.

Today is going to be another loooonnggg day going into night.
School. homework: work on essay, women studies notes. Alpha Phi Omega meeting @ 6:30pm.

after my day:
Im home tired and hungry. I hate being happy one moment then not so happy the next. Why does bad things always happen to good people? There are those who work so hard putting time and effort into something, and it all of a sudden backfires. FFF*****KKKK my life right now. hope for the best